Never present a different disposition to the world apart from your real desires. It is sometimes an evidence of a masked complex or not knowing what one wants or both.
I will give two examples to buttress my point. If you desire marriage, don’t ever present the disposition that it’s not important to you. Don’t even throw that “I am more interested in my career first” when you are truly craving for marriage. When you do, you are confusing not only yourself but every other person.
Secondly, when your kids are almost being pushed out of school because of school fees, your rent is due and other pressing financial pressures, when you are asked what you want, don’t stay there saying, all I want is wisdom and knowledge. Yes, I know your priest has taught you about how Solomon did not ask for wealth but wisdom, are you Solomon?
Was Solomon’s rent due without knowing where it will come from? Does responding like Solomon make you modest? Okay, let me tell you something, if I am God and asked Solomon what he wanted from me and he said wealth, money or even any material things, I will knock his head for being a silly greedy boy that doesn’t understand his need.
Understanding your need is key to living a fulfilling life. Solomon was the son of a stupendously rich King David. David was so rich that even when God asked him not to build for him, his hands were itchy till he bought all the building materials needed for the temple, cartel of gold and silver inclusive.
You are aware about Solomon sacrificing 1,000 bullocks but you are not aware that at a point in David’s life, every four steps he walked, a sacrifice was made. We were not told how many kilometers he walked and how many bullocks were sacrificed. Maybe they lost count.
What is my point? Solomon needed more wisdom to manage and build on the wealth, estate and Kingdom left for him than money. He simply understood his need. Not that asking for wealth is bad. I repeat, if your need is money or marriage or anything that is not a crime, do not shy away from desiring and working towards having it. It’s your fundamental human right.
As you also grow, you will get to a point where you will hardly pray for material things. You will get to a stage where you have an assurance of your needs being supplied when they are needed, a phase where you operate with an internal state of excitement no matter the circumstances around. A state where you can boldly declare ‘what I don’t have, I don’t’. This is how to beat anxiety and depression in today’s world. You have to be content with what you have while hoping for the best to come.
At this phase, your strength is not in commanding everything you want to appear, it’s a phase you have developed the capacity not to recognize the absence of what you don’t have until it appears. Anxiety network does not have even a single bar here because it’s a no network for anxiety and depression.
Until you grow to that capacity, let all your desires be known, then plan, pray to God and work towards grabbing it without pretending that you don’t need them.
By guest columnist David O. Ani
RE: IMPORTANT ROLES TEACHERS PLAY IN MOLDING CHILDREN
“My sister, you hit the nail on the head. I was forced to study Education against my wish. I couldn’t bear the shame to remain at home extra year, so I accepted the change of course. Years after graduation, I have no intention to teach. Insisting on it even when the passion is not there spells doom for every student in my care. I told myself the gospel truth and simply kept my certificate aside and took to business.”
-Thaddeus, Imo State
“Most of our teachers were just plain toxic. I suffered serious low self esteem because my teachers didn’t only shame me for woeful academic performance, they also body shamed me as well. They called me stockfish or bonga fish because of my skinny body. I also dreaded home because my parents were also toxic. Their corrections were more of insults than correction.
Till today, I cannot look into people’s eyes or faces and I cannot challenge people even when they trample on my right. My self confidence is zero. I hope our education sector and parents get all the needed help. This article really brought back terrible memories”
– Ndubuisi O., Niger State
“What does one do when the abuse is from home? School was my get away, but I was physically and psychologically sick, lacked concentration and hungry. I was over laboured at home, went to bed very late to wake up early every day. I endured abuse in the name of discipline.”
“There are teachers who taught me that if I bump into them today, I will spit on their faces. They were just frustrated evil men and women who should not have been around a learning environment.”
– Michael, Festac, Lagos